20121108

10 years - a personal reflection on loss and hope

Ten years can pass so quickly and so much can happen in that time. It was ten years ago, at a time filled with so much hope and promise, that my foundation was rocked. I lost my source, she who sacrificed so much and even risked her life to bring me into this world. It's never easy, but early fifties is too young.

That sudden loss affected relationships with others in my family. It was hard. Barely months later, my family faced another tragedy. I started dreading November.

Up to this point in my life I was known as a fairly easygoing guy, always ready to share laugh. I kept the more serious side to myself, having learned years ago that most people don't sit around contemplating...contemplating. They certainly weren't interested in my innermost thoughts. Only a few who were really close ever had any idea what I thought.

Note: proximity does not mean closeness. Someone can be right beside you and never take the opportunity to know you.

So, take tragedy and a tendency to always be strong, then mix it with a situation without any support or outlet and you end up with a problem. The following years got fairly dark, especially as life threw challenge after challenge with work, school, finances, relationships. Whew.

Why am I sharing this? Good question. Maybe it's just to share two bits of encouragement.

First, some things in life really matter, others not so much. It is important to know the difference. It's also important to prioritize the important things in life. Politics is important, but relationships are more important.

Secondly, hold on. No matter how dark the moment, things can change and they usually do for the better. How long? No one knows. The key to making it is finding and surrounding yourself with people who love you and accept you. The key is being able to share, not just the highs, but the lowest lows. Love stands by you.

As future problem present themselves, which they will by the nature of our existence, those truths are important to remember. I will have to remind myself.